Quit Bitching and Jump!

We have all been that person at some point in our life. The one that isn’t happy with our job, our significant other, our children, our family, our life in general, so all we do is bitch and complain about everything wrong and sometimes even the good stuff. I’m not talking about needing to vent over something or just having a bad day where nothing goes right and you just need to let it all out so tomorrow can be a better day. What I’m talking about is constant complaining and anything that happens just adds to the negative tirade you have going on.

I don’t know about you, but after a period of time (days, weeks, months)  I get sick of hearing myself complain so you know by then that everyone around me is beyond sick of hearing me bitch. This is where I have been for the past 6 months. Sick of hearing myself complain, but stuck in a place where I don’t know what to do. Something obviously needs to change but what? Short answer…Me. I need to change me… Gulp. 

Do I Really Love It?

Here’s a little background on me…Since my first job at 16, I have mostly worked in some form of the real estate industry. My current position is as a Sales Manager for a large brand company and I manage an office of 100+ Realtors. When asked by anyone, I always answer that I love what I do. Really? Then why was I constantly complaining? Did I really love my career?

Not easy questions to answer, especially since I was afraid that the answer was no, I didn’t like my career and if that was the case then what the hell had I been doing for the past 5 years?!?Obviously, I needed to do some self-reflection. Not my strong suit. Oh, I can definitely reflect on everything I’m doing wrong but not in a way that is going to get positive results. Maybe I’m just having a mid-life crisis and if I ignore it and just pretend like everything is fine, it will all just resolve itself and go away. If you are nodding your head in agreement, then you also know that solution will only last so long before the complaining comes back, and now I’m in a cycle I can’t break.

The Fear

My commute to work is around an hour and a half one way. This is where I take time to plan my day in my head and process what I need to accomplish and what issues I need to address. Since I was avoiding self-reflection, I decided to use my commute time to have a conversation with myself. Why was I avoiding looking at myself? It took a couple of days to realize my avoidance was based on fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of having wasted my time, fear of having to make a change, fear of the financial repercussions, fear, Fear, FEAR!

I also realized that I did love my job. I worked with a great group of people but, as with any job, there are things that I didn’t like. I’m a list maker so I wrote down a list of all the things I loved doing and then a separate list of what I didn’t like about my career. This took some doing because I wanted to be honest with myself in regards to what I really didn’t like and what just made me uncomfortable or I didn’t feel that I was good at it.

What these lists made me realize was that I really enjoyed motivating the people in my office. Helping them goal set and creating a path or plan to meet those goals. Sometimes these were business goals with some accountability follow up but other times these goals were for other aspects of their lives like their family, physical, or personal goals. These became ongoing conversations and follow up. This is what I was passionate about! The joy I felt in knowing that I had helped someone progress and accomplish their personal and business goals feeds my inner fire. 

Not good at the Limbo

Great step forward. I definitely need to pursue this. Oh wait. I still have my partner, fear, and now it may just be a little bit worse because I know that I need to make changes to realize my passion. I can’t just quit my job though. What if I fail? What if people think it’s a stupid idea? Why would people come to me for this? What if I let my family down? What if I’m really not good at it? 

I’m now in a much calmer frame of mind than I was during my complaining phase. I have had some realizations. I know what I feel passionate about and I know that I’m afraid to do anything about it. The noise and chaos in my head has subsided to a dull roar and I feel that I have a possible direction to move forward in. Unfortunately, I now feel like I’m in limbo. I have an idea but I’m afraid to pursue it. I don’t know how to pursue it. Self doubt is a difficult mindset to overcome, but I know myself enough to acknowledge that I need to change the way I think if I’m going to move on from the career I currently have. Unlike other times in my life, this time I’m feeling motived to change my thinking. 

Let Go of The Excuses

Reading to learn has always been the way I prepare myself for anything that makes me uncomfortable. Knowledge is power so I started reading to work on changing how I view myself and my abilities. The first book I picked up is “Girl, Stop Apologizing” by Rachel Hollis. Wow! I’m surprised she didn’t call me out by name in the book. In the introduction of the book, she covers almost all the questions that were revolving in my mind. The biggest section in it is “Excuses to Let Go Of”. She states: “…because if you don’t recognize the things that are limiting you right now, you’ll never by able to move past them. The habits and skills we need are straightforward, but the litany of excuses that stand between where we are and where we want to go is longer and more dramatic than the second half of Hamilton.” I had the excuses part down very well.

I’ve read this book 3 times and it has finally started to sink in. Good thing I’m not stubborn. I also started having conversations with people who’s opinions I value. I was reminded by one person in what I have come to view as my tribe, that she had told me over a year ago that she thought I should pursue being a mentor or coach because I had motivated her in her own career. Once she said it, I remembered the conversation but the self-doubt had pushed it out just as fast as it could. This type of interaction is a constant source of encouragement and reminder of what people have seen in me that I haven’t seen in myself. 

Now What

So I’m working on changing my mindset and I’m building confidence in this idea that is swirling in my head. Implementation is the next hurdle. Have you ever heard of analysis paralysis? Well I have it. I’m analytical by nature so I want to gather all the facts and data before I make any decisions. When I’m dealing with another person and giving guidance, I can do this quickly and see the direction they should take to make changes very clearly. Not so much when it comes to my own path. I tend to overwhelm myself with the what-if’s and needing to have a plan of action for all of them. 

A typical way of planning and thinking would be to start building a coaching business in the community I know and expanding it online and then grow from there with the ultimate goal being to quit my job once this business had grown and was making a profit. Ha! Nope not me. Analyzing everything I will need to do to be an entrepreneur will paralyze me forever. I can’t wait. I’m on the precipice. I either need to settle myself down, stop complaining and continue doing my job or I need to jump. Thus the title of this blog post. I jumped. My last day at my job was December 2nd. My 5th anniversary would have been a week later on Dec 9th. In my heart I knew I needed to jump before that date. I currently feel like I’m falling through the air, hoping the landing is a soft one. 

Thank you for joining me on my journey of discovering myself, being an entrepreneur, and building a business. Hopefully, we can learn together and land softly in our growth.

Just a girl on a journey,

G